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everyday Ann

living the ordinary seeing the extraordinary

in Infertility, Motherhood · October 18, 2016

Remembering

awareness

If you are on facebook you may have seen similar pictures as the one above posted and shared over the last few weeks. Several years ago this wasn’t the case. In 1988 Ronald Reagan declared October as pregnancy and infant loss awareness month and it seems that finally awareness happening. Women are opening up, receiving healing, finding support and recognizing that their grief is real as so many have suffered alone and in silence.

I have always written about miscarriage prior to having children, so it may appear like I have forgotten or am over it now that my arms are full with my three littles. It couldn’t be further from the truth. The connection between a mother and her baby is real and unforgettable, no matter how small the life may be. The love is real and the grief that follows even more real.

While doing a radio interview before Grace was born the host introduced me as the mother of eight. I had to fight back the tears as I was live on the air in seconds. I had never thought of myself this way and to hear her say it on national radio took me by surprise. How beautiful it was to hear her recognize my babies gone too soon right along with my sons and the baby I was carrying.

Every time I hear of a woman who miscarried or loss her baby, my heart is torn open. The feelings that I think have gone away flood back over me as my heart aches for the mother who is in mourning. Every time I hear of a friend becoming pregnant I find myself whispering the words, please God do not let her lose her baby. So many years later and I still remember. It is a loss I wish no mother would have to experience. A cross I pray no one has to carry.

Daily I ask my babies to pray for me and plead their help as I know they have the ear of God. It may seem like just a nice sentiment, but I know they are in heaven and I can call on them.

Noel, Francis, Simon, Cecilia and Gabriel please pray for us. Until we meet, please look after your mama. I may not be able to hold you in my arms, but I will forever hold you in my heart.

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