everyday Ann

living the ordinary seeing the extraordinary

Remembering Our Babies

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October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and while I see great changes in awareness since I had my first miscarriage almost ten years ago I still think there is a long ways to go, especially in our personal and faith communities. Over the years we have honored our babies in different ways during the month of October. This year we will be doing a balloon release with our children.

I am writing at Catholic Mom today sharing five ways that have helped me find healing after the loss of my babies to  miscarriage. What has helped you find healing? I would love to hear your story, none of us are in this alone.

Mom Life


Throwback picture to 2015 when we had just landed in the U.S. from Ghana. Finally with my boys, the ones who began my mom life!

1.  It is Friday, yippee!!! A four day week that turned into ten, with a few sleepless nights sprinkled in. We have all had those moments, days and weeks when our brains seem as if they turned to mush and our toddler can complete a task more successfully than us.

2.  When you sweep the entire floor and have enough food in the dust pan for a meal, but for some reason mistakenly throw it on top of a box of granola bars sitting in the pantry instead of in the garbage.

3.  After heating up the baby’s bottle you try to give it to the toddler. Her response,”Mama I am not a baby, I am a big girl. Silly mama!!”

4.  A weekend full of social events planned including Caden’s first birthday party and everything gets cancelled, because the poor little man came down with a severe case of hand, foot and mouth.

5.  You walk downstairs to get something and the moment you reach the last step you begin to wonder why you are downstairs.

6.  Reaching for the perfume you grab the hairspray instead, spraying it as if it was your body mist.

7.  Brewing a fully caffeinated extra strong cup of coffee you hand it to your seven year old instead of his hot chocolate. He doesn’t say anything until almost the entire cup is gone.

A side note…loving these cooler days of low 70s. May have to venture out and find some mums this weekend. Join Kelly for writing that is more coherent and well thought out.

As Our Hearts Ponder

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School day number 4 in the books and we still seem to be adjusting to the new routine, not to mention that on day 3 I was already late for pick-up. I am also finding the need to come up with coping strategies come 3:45 when are are all together again and chaos seems to hit. Yesterday every single child was in tears between 4:00 and 5:00. Working on adjusting to everything being new again.

Writing at Catholic Mom this week for all of our mama hearts as we send our children back to school. Keeping all of you mothers in prayer as sometimes the transition is so much harder on us.

When God Says Give More

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The days when God asks you to give a little more and you wonder how you will make it through. You just spent the entire night rocking and holding your sick baby, so they could be in a more comfortable position because as soon as you lay them in their crib they scream in pain. When you finally get settled for an hour of sleep the toddler wakes up, your jaw clenches as you try to get them their drink of water.

Morning comes all too quickly and it seems as if you would rather hide under the covers than face the day. Nothing that a two cup of fully caffeinated coffee can’t help. Only you haven’t been drinking caffeine, so after the jolt you are left feeling a little shaky and nauseated instead of energized.

Made it to lunch, nap time is right around the corner and you cannot wait to sneak in a 30 minute snooze while the little ones sleep. Only today they decide that their nap time will not coincide and your glimmer of hope is gone. You begin to countdown the hours until the second shift steps in. Five hours and counting, slamming LaCroix because it’s the next best thing to wine.

Dinner becomes well balanced with a bag of tator-tots, sandwiches and cucumbers because nobody ever said this was a five star kitchen. Your relief walks in the door and you use everything in your power to not run out while you have the chance.

Bedtime approaches only to find the toddler spiked a high fever meaning another sleepless night. Two sick kiddos and the weekend plans went out the door, your only opportunity at having a social life and communication with the outside world. In addition the four day family vacay that you spent all week packing and prepping for gets canceled.

Some days God definitely ask me to give a little more, sometimes a lot more. When I think I have given all of my love, time, sleep and energy to my family I find God stretching me even more. At moments to the point of exhaustion, ready to throw in the towel.

Then I remember that this, this is my vocation. Sleepless nights, rocking babies, cancelling plans is all part of God’s plan to make me holy. His plan to etch away the selfishness that still consumes me, the comfort that I take for granted and the need to feel in control of my plans.

Motherhood is my path to heaven if I can just accept the difficulties alongside with the joys. To see God’s grace even in the moments that leave me giving more than I think I am capable of. He gave more, He gave all.

Walking Billboards

I am realizing more and more that every time I am out in public with the kids people are watching us and observing our actions. Commenting on our family size, the kids behavior or cuteness, my look of joy or exhaustion. Whether we want to be or not we are billboards advertising motherhood and family life, and I have to ask myself what kind of message am I sending? Over at Catholic Mom today sharing my reflections.