everyday Ann

living the ordinary seeing the extraordinary

Waiting on Baby

Here we are 39 weeks and 6 days, wondering when this precious girl will make her debut. Some days I think it may be easier if I just stay pregnant. Feeling a little nervous about having 5 kiddos and trying to be present to each one especially between 4:00-6:00pm. And some days I feel like I will be pregnant forever, the reality of a new little one joining us has not fully set in.

I am not sure who is more anxious and impatient for the arrival, me or the kids. It is such a gift to see their excitement as they await their new sibling, who is already loved dearly by each one of them. We are going to be drawing names to see who gets to hold the baby first. A full out argument ensues as soon as the topic is brought up with even Caden saying, “no, me first!”

The other day as I was thinking out loud and said should I scrub the floors or make apple pie. Ethan chimes in, “well I would rather have a baby than apple pie, so you should scrub the floors.”

We decided to take the kids to a pumpkin farm yesterday, to have some family time before all of the dynamics change again. It was a blast with horse rides, cow milking, pumpkin patch, hay ride and holding every farm animal there is.

In addition to growing a baby these past nine months I have also been working on another exciting project, co-authoring a book. More details coming very soon, including how to pre-order. Cannot wait to share more with you and see how the Holy Spirit will use this book to touch many hearts.

So Long Summer

Chugging the caffeine today as I stayed up way too late finalizing last minute school details, tucking notes in their lunch boxes and waking up crazy early to make their favorite breakfast while still trying to snap a few pictures before getting everyone out the door on time.

It is here, the start of a new school year. I am definitely not ready for it this year, besides it meaning that I am closer to meeting our sweet little one. Not sure if it is pregnancy emotions getting the best of me or just realizing how fast time goes, but I was not wanting to say good bye to them this morning, longing for more time together.

Earlier this month I wrote about this very thing over at Catholic Mom. Ready or not school is here, which means summer is officially over. We had a very full and busy summer and as much as I wish for more time I need to be thankful for the time had and memories made.

Surprise!

It is hard to believe that in just three months this little one will be making its arrival and yet on the other hand three more months of being pregnant seems like an eternity. Honestly, how much bigger can I get.

Being the planner (and impatient one) I always like to know the gender ahead of time while Aaron prefers to wait it out until delivery day. We found out with Grace and waited with Caden although, we both had a really good hunch that it was a boy. After an extremely long winter and feeling knocked down by the first trimester I really wanted to find out the gender with this baby. Not to mention to prep Grace in case the baby was not a girl.

Aaron agreed with one exception, he would get the sealed envelope with the gender written down in it and I would not be allowed to see it. He said he would plan a gender reveal surprise for the kids and I. I agreed to it, but gave the deadline of two weeks before curiosity would get the best of me and I would just have to peak at the envelope. The kids on the other hand were a little less patient than me and tried to sneak open the envelope ahead of time.

The night started with a scavenger hunt of clues hidden around the house that led to different baby related items. The last clue led us out to the deck. Now look up into the night sky and see if it lights up like the 4th of July. If it’s pink you know it’s a girl, if it’s blue well either way the game is through.

Not everyone was excited about the reveal, the little ones were a bit terrified from the noise. As soon as it was over and Grace realized what it meant she was ecstatic to say the least!! She could barely fall asleep from all of the excitement!

I thought I would always be a boy mom, so to be adding another girl to the family is a surprise. Obviously the gender didn’t matter to us, just blessed to be able to carry another child. I am excited for Grace to have a sister, as someone who grew up with just brothers I always dreamed of having that bond. We cannot wait to meet you our sweet little girl!!

Welcome Summer!

Oh summer how we have waited so long for your arrival, suffering through months of endless cold and snow in what seemed like a never ending winter.

School is out and with a couple of days of 80 degrees we have packed in as much as possible trying to already squeeze every last drop out of these summer days. I have a feeling this summer will leave me feeling exhausted and refreshed all at the same time. Complete with lots of memories and carefree timelessness spent with the ones I love.

In just two days we have managed to play at a favorite park, enjoy a bike ride, sit out in the sun playing board games on the deck, run through the sprinkler, have a water fight, go out for ice cream and stay up late for an outdoor movie in the park. Hence the reason for a little exhaustion.

I usually create a bucket list for the summer and while the kids have mentioned a few things they would like to do my bucket list is going to be creating moments. Moments of time together, whether it be in our backyard, having a simple picnic at the park or playing games with the older boys while the little ones nap. Moments where I am present and not consumed by my to-do list, the basket of unfolded laundry or the layers of dust collecting on the dressers.

I know these beautiful summer days won’t last and we will not be in this season forever. These golden days will slip away all too quickly just as quickly as they all seem to be growing. In what seems like a blink of an eye school will be starting and we will be preparing for the arrival of number 5. Leaving us looking back once again wondering where the time has gone and wishing it would all slow down.

Easter People

I figure the title is still relevant being we are technically still in the Easter season. We have been adhering to the mandate of celebrating the last few weeks, leaving me a bit exhausted along with looking more 30 weeks instead of 19. In the past I have been a strict no caffeine person while pregnant and nursing, not even a drop. Not sure if it’s my advanced maternal age, chasing around four other children or the lack of sleep that has driven me to enjoy cups of the fully dieseled kind.

Well we made it, hosted two major celebrations both of 30 people or more all within a two week time frame and came out free of any major meltdowns on my part. What I learned, hosting makes you keep your house clean and beyond. Cleaning out of the normal routine; washing the outside of windows, scrubbing down outside doors, washing the walls and no matter how hard I try my patio door will always have little hand smudges on it.

In addition to Easter, this past weekend Ethan made his First Holy Communion. He was sooo excited and kept saying, “this is the best day of my life!” With all the rush of preparing for the weekend I hadn’t taken a lot of time just to reflect on his day not to mention Mass always being a circus in our pew, so I was taken a bit off guard by my emotions. I was surprised when I found my eyes filling up with tears of joy as I watched him receive Jesus for the first time. In that moment all seemed to stand still there was a beautiful period of silence in our pew and I was able to just close my eyes and bow my head as I prayed for my son.

The psalm from today’s readings spoke poignantly to my heart as I reflected on the words.

Shout joyfully to God, all the earth,
sing praise to the glory of his name;
proclaim his glorious praise.
Say to God, “How tremendous are your deeds!”

Psalm 66: 2-3

As I reflect on the past few weeks, months and years how can I not say how tremendous are His deeds, how can my very being refrain from shouting joyfully. The weekend after Easter I happened to run into a priest who once served at our parish. He knew Aaron and I prior to children and asked how my family was doing. My mind quickly raced back to Holy Saturday Vigil eight years ago. I had just found out I was miscarrying for the third time and I remember the exact pew we were sitting in.

During the homily the priest talked about how in our lives after every Good Friday there is an Easter Sunday, although we may not always see the Easter Sunday in our lifetime. I sat there holding Aaron’s hand so tightly as tears ran down my face. As my heart questioned when I would ever see Easter Sunday, when would I experience the joy. All I know is Good Friday as once again another baby is taken from me. Will there ever be an Easter Sunday in my life to follow all of this pain?

There I stood now years later telling him we were preparing to welcome our fifth child. I had to recount bodies in my house as five children sounds unthinkable to me. This, this is my Easter Sunday.