everyday Ann

living the ordinary seeing the extraordinary

Finding Joy

This is hard. What is going on right now is difficult, heart-wrenching and leaving me feeling raw at times. Often I feel at loss for words as I look at my sons, my family. A loss for words as I worry about the future as only a mother’s heart does, longing to protect and shelter our little souls from all hurt and anguish.

These pictures bring me joy, peace and immediately bring a smile to my face. They are some of my favorite pictures. Taken just a few weeks after Grace (my preemie baby) made her arrival and one year after adopting our sons. The love her older brothers’ have for her is so tangible in these photos, the love they have for all of their siblings is beyond words!

Sharing this piece of joy with you. Our family was knit together across continents and oceans. A love that cannot be contained, a love that is not defined by race.

For You, on Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day, for many of us it is a day of celebration, reminiscing, gratitude, joy, laughter and counting our blessings. Grateful for the beautiful mothers in our lives and for those little souls entrusted to our care, who we have the privilege of being a mother to.

While though for some, Mother’s Day is a day filled with loss, grief, emptiness, longing and waiting. For over seven years, that was me. I dreaded Mother’s Day. I wished I could opt out, fast forward, skip the day on the calendar or just sleep through it.

A day that I woke up knowing the grief I would encounter. Knowing the tears that would stream down my face during the Mother’s Day blessing at Mass, the flowers I would have to say “no thank you” to as waitresses handed them out at brunch to mothers, the gathering with family as everyone said “Happy Mother’s Day” to each other and I awkwardly stood on the side.

Today now five kids and six years later my arms are full and the dread of the day is gone. I feel beyond grateful and blessed with the incredible gifts I have been given. Still I do not forget the pain, there is a sadness in my heart for the years I grieved and for the babies I never held.

Although, my house is now bustling and most days are filled with chaos, today I am thinking of you. All it takes is for me to sit for a quiet moment and I can go back to those days, those years, those memories.

For you who are waiting, longing to see two pink lines and hoping this will be the month. For those who are grieving having said good bye to their baby all too soon, because of miscarriage or stillbirth. For you who have experienced the incredible heartache of burying a child. For those who have made an insurmountable sacrifice entrusting their child to another mother. I see you and I am praying for you.

Although, you may not receive the traditional Mother’s Day flowers today look at the image above. These flowers are for you, pick your favorite bouquet and take it as your own. You are a mother whether you have born children or not, whether you have children currently in your arms or have kissed them softly on the cheek as you said good-bye. You are a mother. Happy Mother’s Day!

I love this quote from Servant of God Chiara Corbella Petrillo.

What I wish to say to the mothers who have lost children is this: we have been mothers; we have had this great gift. The amount of time does not matter: one month, two months, a few hours. What matters is that we have had this gift…and it is something that can never be forgotten.

Mother’s Day Gift Guide

If you are like me the past month and a half has been a blur, sprinkled with Easter. Nonetheless, here we are we finally made it to May! For many of us Mother’s Day will be much different this year, our usual traditions are interrupted by what we have lived as the new norm for the past seven weeks. Not being able to visit our mothers, go out for the usual brunch or dinner or have a picnic at our favorite park.

Whether near or far, together or apart our mothers continue to shape our lives and for those of us who are moms we find ourselves striving each day to form the precious souls we have been entrusted with. The other night while laying Grace down for bed, she turned to me and said, “Mommy, when I am an adult I want to be just like you. Do school with my kids like you do, except I am going to have 10 kids!” Her sweet and beautiful words play back in my mind and echo in my heart. Oh precious daughter, I hope I can rise up to every expectation, live each moment with joy, shower you with complete love and instill in you a faith that can move mountains.

Sharing a few gift ideas.

Brick House in the City

Magnolia Cookbook

Sweet Little Ones Mother’s Day Cards

Chews Life

Bathroom Transformation

First things first, this was not a recent project, but a nesting project while I was pregnant. The thought of re-painting multiple rooms right now overwhelms me to be honest, especially when I have papers that still need to be graded from last week.

Currently the big project around our house is switching the kids’ bedrooms, which I will detail in another post. Although, it could not have been done without Ethan taking the bull by the horns and making himself the project manager. So I had no chance to say maybe next week, before I knew it he had the littles’ closet completely organized and rearranged…impressive!

Thought I would share this easy and inexpensive bathroom transformation for those of you looking to give a fresh updated look to your house. The biggest part of this was simply painting. Getting rid of the red apple walls and brightening things up with a gray hue. The dread was how many coats of paint would we have to apply to cover the red. We ended up buying a higher quality of paint and primer in one for this project, and it paid off. The end result was one coat and that included the primer as well!

Here’s the breakdown:
Paint Color – Drifted Wood by Pittsburgh Paint
Shower Curtain – Target
Garbage Can – T.J. Maxx (in their home office aisle)
Glass Vases – Antique Store
Print – Hobby Lobby

Happy Easter!!

He is Risen, Alleluia!!

Squeezing in my Easter post on the last day of the Octave of Easter, just in time and we are still celebrating!! The anticipation of joy was palpable in the children on Holy Saturday as they counted down the hours and “one more sleep” until Easter. They were more than willing to help me with all of the food preparation and last bits of cleaning.

It was a race who would be the first one awake Easter morning to say the “A word” Alleluia!! They came to the conclusion that of course it would be Mom awake first, making Grandma’s pecan rolls and “trying” to get them right this year! (Well, in the haste of food preparation I managed to again botch the recipe forgetting the pecans which are quintessential to pecan rolls! Thankfully, Aaron saved the dread and rescued the long awaited rolls back to their original state.)

Easter morning was cloudy and rainy, but that did not diminish the joy bursting from our four walls. Kolbe ran around on the driveway yelling, He is Risen, Alleluia!! And all four of the kiddos stood on the front porch ringing bells and singing in solidarity with what our Bishop had asked, for all of the churches and families to join in ringing bells at noon on Easter.

The search for the risen Jesus followed Mass, with hunts for their baskets and eggs. They even got a surprise zoom visit with my parents and some of their cousins. At the end of the day, Kolbe said, “Although this Easter was so different with no family gatherings and Mom forgetting the purple table cloth, somehow this was still the happiest Easter ever!” (On day two of Easter, I did remember the purple table cloth!)

No truer words could have been spoken. Thankful for the faith of a child to reveal such profound wisdom. For we are an Easter people and despite quarantine, hardships and setbacks nothing can take that joy from us if we allow it to penetrate our hearts!! Let us keep on rejoicing!!

We are an Easter People and Alleluia is our song! St. John Paul II