As we are about to embark on a new school year, I am sitting here wishing summer would stay around just a little longer. With a blink, these golden months are gone and now three of my children will be starting school and a piece of my heart will be leaving with them. To be honest, at the beginning of summer I was nervous about how I would manage with the transition of all five kids home and now I am wondering how I will manage without them.
Yes, there were moments of chaos during the summer. Times when all five kiddos needed me at once and times I felt like pulling my hair out. The reality of motherhood. But those moments are outdone by the time we had together as a family. Time for the children to grow in their relationships as siblings and time to grow in my relationship with the kids. Man, I am going to miss these days.
Sure, it will be nice to be back to a routine and schedule and I can tell the kids are getting to the point where they are ready. We had school open house last week, which made all of them incredibly excited to get back and see their friends. All of this makes it a little easier to let go.
People always tell me to enjoy these years, these moments, because they go by so quickly and I am definitely seeing the reality of it. As Grace starts Kindergarten this year, I wonder where the past five years went. I also now have a small glimpse into how hard it was for my parents to send me to a college states away!
We wish we could hold their hands just a little longer. Be the one around to always dry their tears and make them smile when they are sad. To always pick them up in our embrace and have them sit upon our lap. To have their head nestled upon our shoulder and never cease hearing the sweet words of mama on their lips.
How difficult it is to let go. To see their hand grow and to one day wake up and realize it no longer fits in ours. Overtime it has slipped out. No matter what stage we find our children, kindergarten, high school, college or getting married. A piece of our hearts go with them, because it is our hearts that we poured into them.
Tonight I will be up late, writing my multiple page back to school letters to each of the kids. Tomorrow I will be the one hiding behind my sunglasses, turning the other way. Trying to control my tears as I wave goodbye. Consoling my little two left at home who are dearly going to miss their siblings and seeking comfort for myself in a pumpkin spiced latte.
(Thanks for letting me share, sorry for all of the emotions! Saying a prayer for all of you parents who find yourself in a similar season of life.)
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