One year ago this week I was put on bed rest, which I thought would be a couple of short weeks ended up turning into a long eleven. It was one of the most difficult things I have had to do, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I remember the morning so vividly and the feelings that accompanied it. I thought I had lost her, my worse fear coming true again. Trying to formulate the words in my mind to explain to our sons what had happened as they saw me overcome with tears as we drove to the doctor.
As incredibly grateful as I was to see a beating heart that morning I was equally anxious about having to go on bed rest. Who would take care of my family, how would our meals get made, what about the laundry and cleaning. Above all of that my heart was worried what effect it would have on the relationship with my sons. How would they react, would they understand even when it means not playing catch with them, taking them to the park or going on bike rides.
My worry and fear brought me to a point where I felt completely incapable of facing this battle, inadequate to fight and ready to give up. Questioning if I was strong enough to do this. Yet an overwhelming outpouring of prayer and support from family, friends and complete strangers gave me the strength to keep going. I know many of you were among those and I am incredibly thankful.
In the midst of uncertainty, God took care of us. Every single detail. People came and cleaned our house, did our laundry and through an amazing food train not once did we have to worry about meals.
The boys grew closer together and showed me amazing love by always making sure my water glass was full and I was comfortable. Not once have I heard them complain about my time on bed rest, rather they are completely smitten by their sister!
How things change in a year, now bed rest seems like a tiny spec in time as I hold Grace. It wasn’t easy, but I am so glad I fought for her. I had to learn to dig deep, pray often and trust more. I can’t imagine our lives without her and would do it all again if I had to. The joy that she brings every day, her contagious smile and laugh and sweet hugs. She has increased our love and is a daily reminder of God’s providence.