A few weeks back the pastor at our church gave a homily referencing the First Reading from 2 Kings about a woman who was without child. The prophet Elisha promised her that “this time next year you will have a baby son.” Our pastor mentioned about the prayer requests he receives from couples struggling with infertility who so badly want to start a family and have children.
He then went on to say that he has seen many times couples adopt and then go on to have one or more biological children. Something I absolutely hated hearing when we were in the adoption process. It seemed almost every other person would say, now just watch after you adopt you will get pregnant. I grew so frustrated with this. Not that I had given up hope or didn’t have faith that with God all things are possible. It was that I had accepted the cross of infertility, let go of my own plans and accepted God’s will.
There we sat in the pew. Our beautiful sons who came to us through adoption, an 18 month old and a baby in the womb who we will meet so very soon. I had to laugh at first, we were the stereotypical family Father was describing. Yet, before I knew it tears were beginning to find their way down my cheeks. It surprised me that I was getting so emotional over what he was talking about, the crosses we carry, not always seeing our prayers being answered.
I couldn’t pin point it. Was it pregnancy hormones. Tears of thankfulness and joy having been blessed with four beautiful children after years of suffering. Or remembering the pain of the cross which we carried for so many years. Reflecting on it more I think they were both tears of joy and those of pain.
The cross was heavy and at times made me feel like I was breaking. A cross carried for seven years, the weight never seeming to lighten. So many moments of crying out to God both in sorrow and in anger. Pleading and wondering if my prayers were ever being heard.
In the pain and waiting God was at work. His plan was being revealed in ways we never could have imagined. Although it seemed my heart was breaking, he was making it anew. When my faith seemed shaken he was strengthening every thread that was left.
Tears of joy, so much joy. Within a 2 1/2 year time span we went from 0 to 4 children. I sat in the pew with my arms and heart full. In awe of God’s goodness. My family created in beautiful ways I never could have imagined. God’s perfect timing. His perfect will. “Remember the marvels the Lord has done.” Psalm 105
In reality not every couple’s story turns out like ours, not every cross is always lifted. Yet God is still at work, his hand their to guide us, his love their to forever sustain us.
To hear the entire homily, select July 2 and start it around 24:00.