everyday Ann

living the ordinary seeing the extraordinary

The Things They Say

Happy Monday and we have almost made it through January! Only four more months until Spring!

Lately I have been feeling like time is going by so quickly, the boys who used to be only five are now ten and eleven. The baby is now a toddler and Grace will be in Kindergarten next year. The days seem to muddle together and the weeks are soon months gone by and I am left catching my breath, more like trying to catch some sleep. If for no other reason, I write these down because I don’t ever want to forget these days and these moments. Hopefully they make you smile too!

Grace: The Lord is my shepherd, I will tell him what I want.

Me: Oh Caden, I love you so much!
Caden: Don’t say that right now, I am pooping!

Sitting down to dinner, which included french fries thrown in the oven.
Grace: Ahh. (takes a bite of her fries) I deserve this.
Me: Deserve what?
Grace: Oh, these french fries. I deserve to eat as many as I would like.

Me: If only we can get Briella to sleep better.
Grace: Well, she probably doesn’t want to sleep in her crib, it’s like she’s in prison!

Ethan: I think we should have ice cream. Ice cream always bring tidings of comfort and joy!

Grace: Want to know why I keep a rosary in my jewelry box?
Me: Why?
Grace: To remind me of Jesus’ love!

Caden: So, when I am 17 I can get a phone?
Me: Yes.
Caden: I will be four next birthday. Will I have another birthday after that?
Me: Yes.
Caden: Okay, so the next birthday after four, then I will be 17!! Hopefully, my phone comes in a box from FedEx!

Grace: Mom, I need the ballerina and unicorn wrapping paper.
Me: Oh, who are you wrapping a gift for?
Grace: For Mary and Jesus.

Caden: You are the best mama, forever!

Caden: I have to go to the bathroom!
Grace: I hope it’s not number three. Number three is messy!

Grace: I love Caden, like I am going to marry him.
Me: Where did you hear that from?
Grace: Well, I am almost 12 you know.

Having yet to sit down to eat my dinner, while meeting another request from one of the children needing something.
Caden: Mom, just be grateful. Be grateful, mom.
Me: I am honey.
Caden: Mom, you just need to be beautiful.

Saying Goodbye to Resolutions

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I am never very good at making New Year’s Resolutions. They last probably the first three weeks and then slowly dwindle off. A few months later I have forgotten about them. Whether it is cutting out sugar, losing weight, keeping the house cleaner, or going to bed earlier. I try, but then tell myself this phase in life right now isn’t suitable to make it happen. (I know, an excuse to get me off the hook!.) So this year I decided I am just not going to make one. No need to feel like I am failing, no disappointment in my lack of results. Sounds good, right?

You may be thinking, that sounds like some serious lack of motivation or an insecurity of the fear of failure. Before you go to far and think I have entirely given up on goal setting, hear me out.

This year during Advent the phrase “being intentional” and “living intentionally” came to me. I sat with it for awhile, thought about how it applied to my own life and I decided to take it with me into the New Year with me. To be intentional in my prayer life, my relationships with my husband and children, time spent on social media, what I am doing in my free time, tending to the house, etc.

I think the phrase encompasses everything that I am seeking to incorporate. Being intentional: purposeful, conscious, intended, deliberate. So perhaps it sounds like a resolution, but I like to think of it as more of an outlook on life. A way to approach the day to day tasks, to allow myself to savor the moments and to help with finding balance that I am in desperate need of.

Motherhood is exhausting. The cleaning, planning, preparing, scheduling, driving, chasing, attending. To-do list, calendars, appointments. It can feel at times like I am merely operating on a what needs to be done basis. Living in survival mode. My motherhood becomes all about doing, productivity and the outcome. Less about the people I am serving. When my focus for the day is what I can cross of my check-list rather than how can I be present to my family, I am not living intentionally.

These moments, this time in my family, referenced as the “golden age” are moments I don’t want to miss. It is time I want to savor, treasure and hold on to. Even in the chaos and daily chores, I want to be. Simply be. Not merely just going through the motions of the same routine every day, but taking joy in each act. Even if it means piles of laundry left unfolded.

To be intentional of what I am doing with my free time. At the end of the day, am I mindlessly staring at the T.V. or scrolling through my phone. Don’t get me wrong, we all need those moments once in awhile to veg. In this season of motherhood for me free time is a rarity. So I have to ask myself, what am I doing with it. It is those moments of free time, if used correctly, that can fill me so I can continue to give.

Probably the most important for me is, am I being intentional in my prayer life and spiritual growth. I cannot tell you how many times I have set big goals of getting to daily Mass once a week, going to adoration, or having 30 minutes of uninterrupted prayer time before the kids wake up, etc. If you have little ones, you are probably laughing because you know. All well intention aside, our lives ebb and flow by the needs of our children and this includes our prayer life.

Still, this is an area to me that calls for the most intentionality. So for now it is reading through the Mass readings of the day, (thank you BIS) first thing in the morning before doing anything else. Around mid afternoon, usually while driving to school pick-up, listening to a Gospel reflection, through RC Daily Meditation or by using the Laudate app. It is also simply turning my thoughts and words to God throughout the day, because even the smallest gesture is prayer.

In a society where it is all about productivity, the bottom line and gain it can serve us well to take be a little less like Martha and learn some insight from Mary.

In This New Year

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The countdown happened at 8:30pm at our house, complete with sparklers, fountains and noise makers. We rang in the New Year with kids laughing and yelling “Happy New Year!” Prior to the brief party we went around the dinner table and shared two highlights of 2020 and two things that were challenging from the year. During our family prayers that evening we decided to skip intentions and instead to solely pray in thanksgiving for all of the blessings we had received in 2020.

There is no doubt 2020 was difficult and challenging. It stretched most of us in new ways, even at times what felt like to our limit. What we knew as the norm was done away with and we had to adapt to a new lifestyle mixed with fear and uncertainty. Not knowing when things would be “normal” again.

It was a year we saw our Churches closed, attended Mass virtually and longed to receive the Eucharist once again. Spring breaks and vacations were cancelled. Visits with family and friends became limited and sparse. Easter was celebrated with only immediate family in our homes and we all learned of zoom and virtual meetings.

A year of mourning what was loss and longing for what was taken from us. It was a time filled with more stillness and less busyness. More being and less doing. More time together to be present and less going through the motions. Truly a year of change and challenges.

In the trials and difficulties, I can look back and see many blessings. While so many plans were put on hold, new ones were formed. Memories made that perhaps wouldn’t have been otherwise. It was a time to become intentional in our relationships.

A few highlights from 2020 were celebrating each of my children’s birthdays. Family movie nights and eating dinner around the campfire. Day trips and stay-cations. Visiting family and going camping. Watching Kolbe and Ethan play baseball and the joy it brought them. Celebrating 13 years of marriage. Being invited as a speaker to two virtual conferences and being a guest on EWTN.

As I look ahead to the New Year 2021, as I set goals and plan I realize the vast uncertainty of life. Reflecting on that reality can cause unrest and anxiety, but the underlying truth is one that can and does bring comfort. Our lives are guided by the Holy Spirit if we allow it to be, our dreams whether they go according to plan or not are under God’s loving and providential care. In that truth is where joy and hope is found. There our hearts can truly be at peace no matter what this new year may bring.

Wishing you all a most joyous Christmas season and a blessed New Year!!

Lasting Joy in a Fleeting World

I am sitting down to begin writing this post on the Third Sunday of Advent, Gaudete Sunday. These days it seems I can never get everything written and complete in one day without someone needing me before anything is finished. And here I find myself already Thursday, almost to the Fourth Sunday, first now finishing this. So this is life with little ones!

Gaudete is to rejoice, to have joy. To have joy, because Our Lord is near. To rejoice, because the birth of our Savior is drawing close. Joy, because our redemption is at hand. God made man, to save the world. To save us from our sins and to redeem mankind.

It is joy in hearing Gabriel’s announcement to Mary. Joy in Mary’s fiat, yes to the Lord’s holy will. Joy as Mary held the Christ child for the first time and pondered his beauty. Joy in the angels announcement to the shepherds. Joy in the Magi’s gifts.

The readings from Mass, were filled with calls of joy. Not mere happiness that is fleeting, but authentic joy. Joy that radiates from our hearts. Joy that comes from a relationship with Christ. Joy that is not shaken by circumstances.

Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing.
In all circumstances give thanks,
for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

It was just a short two weeks ago that I had the privilege and gift of going to Birmingham, Alabama. While I was there I made a visit to a beautiful Shrine 45 minutes north. Hidden in the back country, down winding roads, miles of white fence with cattle grazing, lining the way. It was there the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament was found.

The beauty found within this Shrine was breathtaking. After walking around the grounds and the inside of the Shrine, we returned to the main Church to spend some time in prayer. As we knelt down, beautiful voices could be heard on the other side of the altar. Voices in song, in prayer. Voices filled with joy and complete love of God. The Shrine is home to the Poor Clare Nuns.

As I sat there and prayed I couldn’t help but think of the sacrifice, devotion and love these women were filled with. While it may seem hard to comprehend as we live in this world, going through our day to day task, taking care of our family, our children, tending to our jobs. It was true joy that I heard. Although, they are removed from the worldly distractions we so often find ourselves facing they were filled with an immense joy.

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked upon his lowly servant.

Luke 1:46

I rejoice heartily in the LORD,
in my God is the joy of my soul

Isaiah 61:10

This time of year can easily distract us. Trying to fill our hearts with things that are fleeting or only bring happiness for a brief moment. I know I have found myself getting swept up in the worldliness of the season, instead of keeping my focus on the One who brings true joy. Joy that will not leave. Joy that permeates our hearts even when the pleasures from this world are removed.

The struggle has been real for me these last couple of weeks to want the house perfectly decorated, all of my Christmas cards in the mail and every task on my to-do list crossed off now. While these are beautiful gestures, when I have allowed them to become my focus I lose joy. When I base my day on what gets accomplished rather than was my heart turned toward Christ, it becomes difficult to rejoice.

True joy is not defined or contained by circumstances, decorations or presents or whether my house has toys scattered about or baskets of laundry to fold. While we may all have things on our Christmas list, the happiness won’t carry us through the year or difficult challenges we may face. What the world offers is fleeting. It is joy in knowing Our Savior that will accompany us, remain in our hearts and never leave.

Monday News

1. Exciting news!! EWTN will be featuring Nursery of Heaven the beginning of December! I am doing two episodes on At Home with Jim and Joy airing December 2 and 3 at 1:30pm ET/12:30pm CT. I am incredibly humbled, honored and a tiny bit nervous to say the least!! If you think of it, please say a prayer for me. (And a prayer for Aaron as he takes care of all five kiddos for three days, while I am away taping.)

2. During the shows I will be talking about the book I co-authored, Nursery of Heaven and the topic of miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss. How can we find healing, what role does our faith play, how can we honor the life of our child and how can we find hope.

3. Check out the Nursery of Heaven facebook page. During the month of October, both Patrick and myself shared some videos about grieving and healing. In the coming months contributors to the book will be sharing as well. It is my hope that in creating community and sharing our hearts, healing and hope will be found.

4. In years past it was my goal to have Christmas shopping done before the start of Advent. While I was hoping to accomplish that for this year, the truth is I haven’t even begun and the start of Advent is less than two weeks away. I blame the week of 70 degrees here and somehow it subconsciously told my brain that it was only October, but here we are counting down to Thanksgiving and the start of Advent already!

5. I normally don’t start decorating for Christmas until December 1 and that is only the minimal, the fireplace mantle and stockings. Everything else including the tree goes up on St. Nicholas Day. This year I have been tempted to start early, because it’s 2020 and nothing has been normal. In addition to our tradition of reading Christmas stories in the evening with the children we also use these beautiful books during Advent, Daily Advent Prayers and 24 Christmas Stories to Welcome Jesus.

6. For the month of November I have been writing down one thing I am grateful for every day. It is from the small to the big, from something as simple as a text from a sibling to a friend gifting our family. I can tell already how it has helped me keep perspective and see all things as a gift. I truly love this quote.

Thank God ahead of time. – Blessed Solanus Casey

7. Five years into the mom gig and I have reached a new standard of motherhood, putting on gloves and fishing out a tube of toothpaste floating around in the toilet with poop. Because Briella thinks everything belongs in the potty and happened to sneak this fancy move in while I was attending to Caden.

Just in case your Monday has been off to a rough start, think toothpaste in the toilet and you immediately know things really aren’t that bad.

(Since my posting has been hit and miss lately, check out my instagram for more thoughts and ponderings.)