Almost a month ago already I mentioned briefly in a post that my husband and I were really in a time of discernment. Lots of prayer and discussion, searching for answers and trying to come to a decision. Since I said I would fill you in at a later time, I thought this post could be the later time.
There have been several changes in the actual adoption process itself since we started our initial home study in October of 2012 for an international adoption. Some hiccups, delays and way more waiting than I had ever anticipated or imagined. With all of that we felt like we were at a crossroads. Discouraged in not seeing progress, but yet still small amounts of hope as the door remained open. We both agreed we needed to re-evaluate where we were at, was God still calling us to this, how much longer would we wait, were we doing the right thing, and the list goes on.
The one thing we were in complete agreement on going into the discernment was, in the end we both needed to feel the same way about whatever would be decided. We knew we both needed to have peace and confidence in our minds and hearts no matter what the decision would be. So we started on common ground knowing we needed to be led back to common ground.
It was amazing how I could convince myself one way and in a matter of 5 minutes pose the opposite view and have myself convinced in a new direction. One day I would say yes, he would say no. Two days later he would say yes and I would say no. I will be the first to admit I was praying for a sign, anything to solidify a decision for us.
Then after a couple of weeks, including a full pros and cons chart, (which can only get you so far as you can’t put your heart on paper) we came to a decision! Both of us!! The same decision, the same day!!
We both felt in our hearts that God was asking us to give it one more try. God was asking us to do what seemed like the inconceivable. When we felt we had given it our all, much like the disciples who had fished all night and caught nothing, we were being asked to go back out one more time. To cast our nets out again, this time with even more trust and hope. Despite the past or how it may look to others, in our heart of hearts we knew and it gave us the peace and hope we were looking for and in the end that’s the only sign that matters!
The last paragraph to this post just changed from, hoping for good news this week…to, receiving good news today!!! Our net is full and our hearts are overflowing with love and joy!!!