everyday Ann

living the ordinary seeing the extraordinary

Holy Week and Easter at Home

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Now a good three weeks into quarantine, we are adjusting to a new normal as much as possible. We are just days away from Easter, and what a Lent the past few weeks have been. While streaming Mass has become the new normal, celebrating the Holy Triduum without all of the smells and bells will be new territory.

Just this morning my oldest kiddos were talking about how it won’t even really be Easter and how they are going to miss the blare of trumpets Easter morning as we all joyfully proclaim Alleluia. I too am left missing being present at the liturgies during what is my favorite time of year, to enter into the Passion and fully celebrate the joy, hope and promise of Easter. I came up with a list of ideas on how to celebrate Holy Week at home and am sharing it over at CatholicMom today.

After coming up with this list I am looking forward to these moments this week of truly living as domestic Church. Entering into these sacred mysteries with my family with no where to go, time to just reflect and meditate on the beauty and truths.

Although we won’t be with family on Easter I am still making a feast, even more than I normally do. I also decided to make our place settings a little more fancy, since we will be home all day. It will be Magnolia Table egg bake, my Grandma’s pecan rolls and kid-friendly mimosas in the morning followed by all the recipes from my Mom’s Easter dinner.

Of course we will still do the Jesus search and egg hunt! I told the children that more than ever, we will rejoice in the Resurrection this year. We are an Easter people. I joked with them that I might open my front door Sunday morning and shout out, “He is Risen!!”

Given For You

Oof! I know these are the days I am going to look back on and miss, but these are also the days that require the most of me. Every ounce of energy at all hours of the day. To sheer exhaustion or to my breaking point.

No matter how many children you may have the vocation of motherhood is one of sacrifice. Sleepless nights, stretch marks and cold dinners. A call to love more than we knew we were ever capable of. A call to model joy and patience even when it seems to be running thin.

Writing at CatholicMom today reflecting on this very topic. These are the days when the true meaning of sacrifice is found. Loving when it is hard to show love. Being patient when we are on our last thread. Showing joy when the feeling of exhaustion and frustration has set in.

This is my body, which will be given for you. (Luke 22:19)

October Arrivals

In addition to growing a baby the past nine months I have also been working on co-authoring a book for nine months. Both our sweet baby Briella and the book Nursery of Heaven made their arrival within a week of each other. Both gifts from God and an answer to prayer!

Nursery of Heaven: Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss in the Lives of the Saints and Today’s Parents is now available for purchase on amazon! To learn more visit contemplativeheartpress.com.

Several months before starting to write the book I had been praying that God would open a door for me to share about my miscarriages. My heart had a desire to use the suffering I had experienced to somehow bring healing to another soul. Nothing short of the Holy Spirit orchestrating it all, the project began.

This book is the fruition of everything I wish I had while I went through my own miscarriages, struggled with loneliness and tried to cope with my grief and find healing. From the lives of the saints who experienced the heartache many women feel today, to parents sharing their own journey, resources for those grieving and beautiful prayers and blessings.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and I still feel like more awareness needs to be made. Yes, many strides have been taken, but more can be done. I hope this book can aide in that, offering hope and healing for women and couples as they search for meaning.

To know they are not alone in their struggle. To feel connected with others who have carried a similar cross. And to have their faith strengthened realizing in all of the heartache God has not abandoned them.

Sweet Baby Girl

Our baby girl made her arrival into the world on Monday, October 7 at 3:17am. Born on the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary, Briella Marie-Rose has stolen our hearts and her siblings are completely smitten with her. She is named after the Archangel St. Gabriel, meaning God is my strength.

I was scheduled to be induced at 41 weeks, Monday morning at 7:30am, but I was really hoping to avoid an induction knowing it increases risk being a VBAC. So I was incredibly excited when I had contractions for 3 hours on Saturday and extremely disappointed when they all of a sudden stopped.

Fast forward to 5:00am Sunday morning and the contractions started again, I leaped out of bed and started running around the house, walking in place doing everything I could to keep them coming. I knew what feast day Monday was, but didn’t know of any on Sunday so I did a quick search and was overcome with complete peace. It was the feast of Blessed Marie-Rose. A saint I had never heard of before, but Aaron and I had chosen the middle name Marie-Rose as soon as we found out our baby was a girl. It was my confirmation from heaven that everything would work out.

The contractions continued sporadically throughout the morning and then around noon they became regular around every 15 minutes. We decided to delay nap time for the little ones and go for a 3 mile walk complete with some pretty steep hills. To ensure things would continue I went for another 2 mile walk right before dinner, at this point the contractions were around every 7 minutes.

I wanted to labor as much as I could at home and also wanted to get the kids settled in for the night before heading to the hospital. So when all was said and done they were coming on strong about every 4 minutes when we arrived at the hospital about 10:00pm Sunday night.

I was ecstatic when the nurse checked me and said I was about an 8, the doctor later came in and said I was a definite 7. This was great I thought I probably only had a couple of hours left before I would be holding my sweet girl. The time marched on and contractions continued. Somewhere around 1:00am the doctor broke my water and told me to prepare for things to get intense. My goal was to hold off on an epidural for as long as I could.

The rest became somewhat of a blur. I got to the point of no return and asked for an epidural only to find out I was at a 9 and it was too late. The pain was too much to sit or lie in bed, but I was getting weaker and could tell I was on the verge of passing out. With Aaron literally holding me up as I leaned over a birthing ball I could hear the nurse call for a cart and page the doc as my blood pressure plummeted. In my mind I thought, really if this ends in a c-section all because I thought I could ride out the pain I will be so upset.

Between the cold wash cloths and some nitrous oxide my blood pressure bounced back and I was telling the nurse I was going to push. I wasn’t waiting around for things to get ready, I was pushing. Four minutes of pushing and our Briella was out!

Surprise!

It is hard to believe that in just three months this little one will be making its arrival and yet on the other hand three more months of being pregnant seems like an eternity. Honestly, how much bigger can I get.

Being the planner (and impatient one) I always like to know the gender ahead of time while Aaron prefers to wait it out until delivery day. We found out with Grace and waited with Caden although, we both had a really good hunch that it was a boy. After an extremely long winter and feeling knocked down by the first trimester I really wanted to find out the gender with this baby. Not to mention to prep Grace in case the baby was not a girl.

Aaron agreed with one exception, he would get the sealed envelope with the gender written down in it and I would not be allowed to see it. He said he would plan a gender reveal surprise for the kids and I. I agreed to it, but gave the deadline of two weeks before curiosity would get the best of me and I would just have to peak at the envelope. The kids on the other hand were a little less patient than me and tried to sneak open the envelope ahead of time.

The night started with a scavenger hunt of clues hidden around the house that led to different baby related items. The last clue led us out to the deck. Now look up into the night sky and see if it lights up like the 4th of July. If it’s pink you know it’s a girl, if it’s blue well either way the game is through.

Not everyone was excited about the reveal, the little ones were a bit terrified from the noise. As soon as it was over and Grace realized what it meant she was ecstatic to say the least!! She could barely fall asleep from all of the excitement!

I thought I would always be a boy mom, so to be adding another girl to the family is a surprise. Obviously the gender didn’t matter to us, just blessed to be able to carry another child. I am excited for Grace to have a sister, as someone who grew up with just brothers I always dreamed of having that bond. We cannot wait to meet you our sweet little girl!!