everyday Ann

living the ordinary seeing the extraordinary

A Small Miracle

This past week I have been doing multiple interviews on my book, Nursery of Heaven, sharing my story and God’s faithfulness! With the book being self-published, the marketing is left up to the authors and well ultimately the Holy Spirit who has been taking me for a ride. I was honored to be part of some filming last week, which God-willing (if I make the final cuts) can share more details in the future.

My hope in every interview and promotion of the book is to bring at least one person healing and hope. I want to share this beautiful story with you, (permission has been granted for use) because no matter what our work God can use it and unknown to us, lives may be touched!

Back in February I attended a women’s conference as a vendor, I hesitated going because of the drive (which was located in a different state) and there being no guarantee that I would actually sell any books or break even on the event. I packed up and went anyways with baby Briella as my companion and my amazing mom meeting me to help out.

We had just finished setting up and Briella needed a quick diaper change before things began. When coming out of the bathroom a woman commented on my baby. Somehow our conversation led to us knowing mutual friends, to the book and to her sharing her own story of loss through miscarriage.

Longing to have closure and remembrance of the baby she never held, Grace Cecilia, this past Fall she called the hospital for what would be a year old copy of her baby’s ultrasound from November 2018. She asked them to call back if they had a copy and to which she never received a return call. She shared with me how much she wished she had an ultrasound picture.

She walked back with me to the vendor tables and purchased the book for a dear friend, but a few days later told me that when she got home she read almost the entire book in one day. After reading the book, she felt God tell her to call the hospital again and ask if they had the ultrasound of her baby Grace, now 15 months after the fact.

They called her back and told her no, after a heartfelt conversation. Then later that afternoon she received a voicemail. The message was from a nurse who went into the ultrasound archives and found the pictures! The nurse explained that normally they purge the pictures after one year, but here after 15 months they had appeared!!

This beautiful woman shared her story with me and many others, because she wants people to know that it doesn’t matter your baby’s age, they existed. They had a life no matter how short, God had a purpose for their life and he has a purpose for yours!

On Thursday I will be presenting at a virtual mom’s meet up and I would love for you to join me!! Register here!

For You, on Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day, for many of us it is a day of celebration, reminiscing, gratitude, joy, laughter and counting our blessings. Grateful for the beautiful mothers in our lives and for those little souls entrusted to our care, who we have the privilege of being a mother to.

While though for some, Mother’s Day is a day filled with loss, grief, emptiness, longing and waiting. For over seven years, that was me. I dreaded Mother’s Day. I wished I could opt out, fast forward, skip the day on the calendar or just sleep through it.

A day that I woke up knowing the grief I would encounter. Knowing the tears that would stream down my face during the Mother’s Day blessing at Mass, the flowers I would have to say “no thank you” to as waitresses handed them out at brunch to mothers, the gathering with family as everyone said “Happy Mother’s Day” to each other and I awkwardly stood on the side.

Today now five kids and six years later my arms are full and the dread of the day is gone. I feel beyond grateful and blessed with the incredible gifts I have been given. Still I do not forget the pain, there is a sadness in my heart for the years I grieved and for the babies I never held.

Although, my house is now bustling and most days are filled with chaos, today I am thinking of you. All it takes is for me to sit for a quiet moment and I can go back to those days, those years, those memories.

For you who are waiting, longing to see two pink lines and hoping this will be the month. For those who are grieving having said good bye to their baby all too soon, because of miscarriage or stillbirth. For you who have experienced the incredible heartache of burying a child. For those who have made an insurmountable sacrifice entrusting their child to another mother. I see you and I am praying for you.

Although, you may not receive the traditional Mother’s Day flowers today look at the image above. These flowers are for you, pick your favorite bouquet and take it as your own. You are a mother whether you have born children or not, whether you have children currently in your arms or have kissed them softly on the cheek as you said good-bye. You are a mother. Happy Mother’s Day!

I love this quote from Servant of God Chiara Corbella Petrillo.

What I wish to say to the mothers who have lost children is this: we have been mothers; we have had this great gift. The amount of time does not matter: one month, two months, a few hours. What matters is that we have had this gift…and it is something that can never be forgotten.

Mother’s Day Gift Guide

If you are like me the past month and a half has been a blur, sprinkled with Easter. Nonetheless, here we are we finally made it to May! For many of us Mother’s Day will be much different this year, our usual traditions are interrupted by what we have lived as the new norm for the past seven weeks. Not being able to visit our mothers, go out for the usual brunch or dinner or have a picnic at our favorite park.

Whether near or far, together or apart our mothers continue to shape our lives and for those of us who are moms we find ourselves striving each day to form the precious souls we have been entrusted with. The other night while laying Grace down for bed, she turned to me and said, “Mommy, when I am an adult I want to be just like you. Do school with my kids like you do, except I am going to have 10 kids!” Her sweet and beautiful words play back in my mind and echo in my heart. Oh precious daughter, I hope I can rise up to every expectation, live each moment with joy, shower you with complete love and instill in you a faith that can move mountains.

Sharing a few gift ideas.

Brick House in the City

Magnolia Cookbook

Sweet Little Ones Mother’s Day Cards

Chews Life

Happy Easter!!

He is Risen, Alleluia!!

Squeezing in my Easter post on the last day of the Octave of Easter, just in time and we are still celebrating!! The anticipation of joy was palpable in the children on Holy Saturday as they counted down the hours and “one more sleep” until Easter. They were more than willing to help me with all of the food preparation and last bits of cleaning.

It was a race who would be the first one awake Easter morning to say the “A word” Alleluia!! They came to the conclusion that of course it would be Mom awake first, making Grandma’s pecan rolls and “trying” to get them right this year! (Well, in the haste of food preparation I managed to again botch the recipe forgetting the pecans which are quintessential to pecan rolls! Thankfully, Aaron saved the dread and rescued the long awaited rolls back to their original state.)

Easter morning was cloudy and rainy, but that did not diminish the joy bursting from our four walls. Kolbe ran around on the driveway yelling, He is Risen, Alleluia!! And all four of the kiddos stood on the front porch ringing bells and singing in solidarity with what our Bishop had asked, for all of the churches and families to join in ringing bells at noon on Easter.

The search for the risen Jesus followed Mass, with hunts for their baskets and eggs. They even got a surprise zoom visit with my parents and some of their cousins. At the end of the day, Kolbe said, “Although this Easter was so different with no family gatherings and Mom forgetting the purple table cloth, somehow this was still the happiest Easter ever!” (On day two of Easter, I did remember the purple table cloth!)

No truer words could have been spoken. Thankful for the faith of a child to reveal such profound wisdom. For we are an Easter people and despite quarantine, hardships and setbacks nothing can take that joy from us if we allow it to penetrate our hearts!! Let us keep on rejoicing!!

We are an Easter People and Alleluia is our song! St. John Paul II

Holy Week and Easter at Home

(source)

Now a good three weeks into quarantine, we are adjusting to a new normal as much as possible. We are just days away from Easter, and what a Lent the past few weeks have been. While streaming Mass has become the new normal, celebrating the Holy Triduum without all of the smells and bells will be new territory.

Just this morning my oldest kiddos were talking about how it won’t even really be Easter and how they are going to miss the blare of trumpets Easter morning as we all joyfully proclaim Alleluia. I too am left missing being present at the liturgies during what is my favorite time of year, to enter into the Passion and fully celebrate the joy, hope and promise of Easter. I came up with a list of ideas on how to celebrate Holy Week at home and am sharing it over at CatholicMom today.

After coming up with this list I am looking forward to these moments this week of truly living as domestic Church. Entering into these sacred mysteries with my family with no where to go, time to just reflect and meditate on the beauty and truths.

Although we won’t be with family on Easter I am still making a feast, even more than I normally do. I also decided to make our place settings a little more fancy, since we will be home all day. It will be Magnolia Table egg bake, my Grandma’s pecan rolls and kid-friendly mimosas in the morning followed by all the recipes from my Mom’s Easter dinner.

Of course we will still do the Jesus search and egg hunt! I told the children that more than ever, we will rejoice in the Resurrection this year. We are an Easter people. I joked with them that I might open my front door Sunday morning and shout out, “He is Risen!!”