I am realizing more and more that every time I am out in public with the kids people are watching us and observing our actions. Commenting on our family size, the kids behavior or cuteness, my look of joy or exhaustion. Whether we want to be or not we are billboards advertising motherhood and family life, and I have to ask myself what kind of message am I sending? Over at Catholic Mom today sharing my reflections.
Letting Go of The List
Writing over at CatholicMom.com today continuing to focus on an area in my life that needs some balance, learning to be. To let go of the list that I allow to hover over me and base my success on and to instead get lost in carefree timelessness with those placed in my life.
What ways have you found helpful to bring balance to the busyness?
For Those Still Longing
I am over at Blessed Is She Blog today, sharing reflections and hope for those who find Mother’s Day to be a painful remembrance of what they don’t have, what their hearts still long for.
Humbled and honored to have my writing posted for such an amazing ministry.
Praying this week for those of you still dreaming and hoping to some day hear the word, Mama.
You Loved Them First
I often find myself thinking about my sons’ birthmothers, but in the past weeks it has also consumed my heart. Rushing over me with a wave of emotions. As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend I want to honor the women who gave my sons the gift of life.
To the ones who loved them first:
There are no words to express the sentiments I feel. Honored, humbled, privileged to be mothering your child. The love I have for them is undeniable as I lavish them with hugs. Yours is one much stronger as you put aside your wants to think of someone else.
As they fill my life with joy and laughter, their absence brings you grief. As I gaze everyday into their eyes, you dream of what they look like. As I tuck them safely into bed at night, you wonder where they are.
You may feel like you have been forgotten, but not a day goes by that your name is not spoken as we mention you in prayer. The topic is not hushed, but spoken about openly. You were a real part of their lives and whether you realize it or not you are still a very important piece of who they are.
When the questions arise, the whys, the need for understanding I tell them honestly, you are a hero. An unsung hero whose love is far greater than my comprehension. A sacrifice that I cannot fathom. They smile through the confusion as I retell the story of your love. And as they ask to hear it over and over it is not because they cannot remember, but rather they are writing it on their hearts.
I grieve the loss with them. The loss that you carry so quietly in your heart. The loss caused by brokenness in our world. The loss that has not allowed you to raise them.
The soul given to you, now entrusted to me. What an immense responsibility, an honor I will not let be diminished. I am grateful and humbled to have been chosen. The privilege is not lost.
Why our paths crossed I am not sure, but I promise to always aim for greatness. To raise them in a way that would make you proud. I have to be honest there are days that I fail, overreact or forget to enjoy the moment, but I will never give up striving to be the mother you hoped I could be.
They are growing, learning and blossoming. Embracing all that life has to offer and rising above when met with challenges. They are kind, generous, thoughtful, eager and loving. You should be proud. So proud of who they have become. For it was your loving embrace that first held them and gave them the opportunity to flourish.
I can’t imagine the grief you sometimes feel, but please know you will always be a part of them. As I look into their beautiful brown eyes the ones that you saw first, I see you and they do too. Your love has not gone unnoticed, your sacrifice will not be forgotten.
As mothers receive a special blessing at church this weekend, I will be standing in for you. I won’t pretend to take your place, because I can’t. I will always try my best at second, because you loved them first.
With all my love and gratitude,
An Adoptive Mother
A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me. -Jody Landers
Motherhood is Beautiful
This is a follow up to my post from a few months back Motherhood is Messy. I realize it could have come across sounding negative which was not my intention, but rather to build solidarity as we share in the hard days, the daily grind of it all. Yes, being a mom is difficult at times, exhausting and messy. It requires giving of ourselves completely at all hours of the day and night, but I wouldn’t trade it for a thing.
In a society where the focus is about rising to the top, having more and instant gratification it should not be surprising that motherhood is often looked down upon. Seen as an option for those who can’t make it, aren’t motivated or don’t have the intellectual ability to thrive in corporate America. All the more if you are populating more than the quota amount of offspring.
Sometimes I feel like writing “mom” on the occupation line of a form is not good enough or seem blushed and stumble over my words when I am asked what my career is. The responses that follow can often make you feel like crawling in a hole. The truth is they are missing what we are seeing.
Our children are a gift, all of them. Souls entrusted to our care with a great responsibility to someday return them to God. Lives on loan to us to love, care for, mold and shape.
They may write off mothers as weak, but what they don’t realize is we are the game changers. It is mothers who have the greatest power and influence to change the culture because we are raising the next generation. The next leaders, teachers, priests, politicians, police officers, CEO’s, and missionaries.
Motherhood is beautiful. The moments of wasting time reading and playing with our children, allowing the to-do list to be put on hold. Rocking the baby to sleep and just sitting there a bit longer to breath in the smell and kiss the soft cheeks just a few more times.
Having a dance party in the dining room as your older children act like they are embarrassed as their mother spins them in circles. The kids asking to have a sleepover on your bedroom floor just so they can be closer to you and in your presence.
Smiles beaming on their faces when they accomplish something new or finally hit the ball. The joy and sparkle in your children’s eyes as they make a wish and blow out their birthday candles.
The older boys sneaking in your room and quietly getting the baby out of his crib in the morning so mom can sleep a little longer. Watching the toddler mimic every single action in hopes of being just like you someday.
Being knocked over by ginormous bear hugs when you pick them up from school. Knowing you are the only one that can calm the toddler down in the middle of the night.
These moments are indeed beautiful and what a treasure that we are right in the middle of it. The pearls that the world does not see and chooses to write off as an inconvenience are the most prized possessions, richer than gold finer than silver. Truly a blessing to be called a mother.
Perhaps next time when I am asked what my occupation is I will respond with a bit more gusto. My career you ask, it is the most important in the world. I am a mom and it is amazingly beautiful!
If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.
-St. Teresa of Calcutta
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